(Sorry for the delay in posts. It's wonderful having a working computer again!)
When describing Xander's demeanor to therapists when asked about social interactions, I always say he carried himself like a "little adult." I usually get a little chuckle and some kind of comment like "oh that's a good observation," or "I could see that!" He will often completely ignore any children his age or younger and his only interaction with older kids are usually acts of using them for sensory needs, (grabbing them, headbutting, pushing his body into them etc.) His interaction is also very limited with adults. He either loves you or couldn't care less about you, its as if you don't exist. He has picked a small group of adults, outside of his father and I, that he cares for and will only show them small signs of affection when he mood strikes him. Up until a few weeks ago that small group of people only included one child, a friend's little girl. The only kid Xander had willingly played with and tolerated shared activities with is little Miss Syd. But now we have a new little guy to add to the list: Mr. Bryson.
Bryson and his mom, Lexi, a fellow whovian and mommy friend of mine, come over about once a week. It took Xander five months to warm up but the other day it finally happened. While us moms were chatting away in the kitchen, Bryson was still napping (we thought) in his carrier. Xander climbed under the carrier's canopy and by the time we noticed his face was right in the baby's. I, at first, panicked, thinking he was going to accidentally hurt the little guy but Lexi seemed very calm so we stood back to see where this was going exactly. Xander grabbed him by the head and gently (enough for a kid who can't figure out his own strength just yet) moved him from side to side. Then he smashed his mouth on the infant's forehead, kissing him much like the way I kiss him. I couldn't help but laugh. He ended man handling Bry's head for a few more minutes, looking him over and giving a few more kisses before walking away to explore a new thing, and only after he left did the baby cry, he was loving all the sweet unexpected attention. All of my worries that Xander would have been a distant big brother faded when I say him treating that sweet little boy like he likes to be treated. Granted he's still jealous as all hell and refuses to some much allow me to hold another baby but that will come with time. This interaction is miles better than his behavior towards my nephew just a few years ago when he would literally step on him because he didn't seem him as anything more than a "thing," with little regard for feeling.
I'm grateful to have an understanding friend also. Most would not have been as accepting of the rough questioning nature of the "exam," but the fact that she understood my excitement, understood the magnitude of this tiny moment and rejoiced right along with me is rare.
I'm confident if we could have made a bigger family, Xander would have made an amazing big brother. His curiosity and inquisitive nature would have made for an amazing role model, making them both into little trouble makers... So perhaps its a true blessing he's an only child. I have my hands full handling one trouble maker, more and my hair would start falling out!