Sunday, June 16, 2013

Google Search: Word For The Stage After "Burn Out?"

puddle stomping after all the rain these past few weeks
    Maybe its the heat or the fact that our son seems to be in a endless battle of endurance against the Energizer Bunny, but my husband and I have officially filed for "burnt out" status. We have had a series of bad luck with services lately and with worsening behaviors from the little man, have been feeling the affects more than in the past.

    Xander is filling in the gaps in his diagnosis; taking up echoing our speech, compulsively lining things up and still insisting on a blood curdling scream at the slightest hint of annoyance. Every day I go and get the mail, I pray that his new pressure vest will finally in that little black metal box, but its a pipe dream, just bills and junk mail. I have a strong suspicion that the company we purchased it from must ship via pack mule or take the term "snail mail" too literally. When in reality, it's likely that its just my mind playing tricks on me and being exhausted is just making the wait seem like an eternity.

    After the fiasco with the last TSS quitting a week early, the morning she was due in for a session via phone call to her BSC, who didn't receive the message in time to inform me of the sudden change (burnt out + fuming mad = glimpse at my state of mind this past week.) I'm looking forward to meeting our new guy today. He's older and more experienced, working as a high school teacher during the school season, so I hope my higher expectations are not ill placed.

   We are getting to crunch time as far as services are concerned, with Xander's third birthday closing in on us. We are in the middle of signing him up for preschool, though the class we had hoped to get him into five days a week is apparently full. The out patient services still telling us that after more than 6 months with completely open availability we are at the same spot on the list, so it seems unlikely that we will make it to the top by August. Alex and I agree that these factors mixed with the drama of the TSS issue is probably why we are feeling it more this past week, more so than the last few weeks. Plus I have a feeling that its the sort of thing that builds up in your system; small amounts of frustration and exhaustion piling up over time until suddenly you feel like you need to climb The Great Wall of China every morning to just get out of bed. We have it better than most, we know that and are incredibly grateful but that doesn't make the challenges any less taxing.

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