I wrote this last night while waiting for Alex to finish work:
Sitting here in my car, at the base my husband's building in downtown Pittsburgh, listening to Xander talk to himself, I lean back and think about the day. We did a lot of running around today, but its those days I love the most. We drove Alex to the city so Xander and I had the car. We completely took advantage of it. Between therapy and quick errands, we managed a short park visit, a playtime at the library and a dinner date at the local diner. Then off the church for the financial classes Alex and I are taking. We sported our blue awareness wear all day proudly.
And after all that, feeling exhausted and missing my bed, I can't help but look at the silly little boy in the backseat and laugh. He's not even close to tired. He's nearly fallen asleep a few times here and there, mostly after being in the car for a while, but hasn't actually clocked any sleep for the day. But he's all sunshine and roses. I can't help but watch him. He's talking about the building he can see from his window (at least that's my best guess, its all just gibberish). He's always thought night time was something to laugh about.
He just looked over at me with a serious look, after a pause in his chatter, as if he was asking me something important. Looking like an idiot for not speaking Xanderese, I just laughed. His serious face melted away into the sweetest smirk, his little dimples caught the streetlight. You could tell he must have been thinking, "oh mom, I can't wait til you stop talking nothing but gibberish, but you are funny!"
It's moments like this one, that melt my heart. Even without words, we have the best love. He knows my laugh and the very fact that the sound of it makes him happy, makes my life worth while. And really that must be how he sees it, we, the adults, can't communicate. The problem is with our understanding not his!
after the drive home:
So as our first official autism awareness day comes to a close, now with a sleeping toddler up in his bed. And I can't help but thank God for all that we have. We are blessed with great core and extended family, who care very much about my son and his progress and would do anything to help us. We are lucky enough to benefit from the many services of state has to offer and have not had nearly as tough a time as the many families you hear about today, going tens of thousands into debt in just months. We have a home and the love for each other to warm it, that and electric heat! ;-)
Sure, we have challenges but I truly believe these challenges, or rather how you handle them, help define who you are. And I wouldn't trade a single one. I love that his delays have given us extra time, and we celebrate the tiniest of achievements more than we did before. Autism in general, has taught me to never judge others, something I'm ashamed to say never sunk in as much as it has now.
Thank you to all who wore blue today, reposted awareness photos or read up on ASD. Helping end that ignorance is very important to me, so thank you very much!
Edit: I added some pictures I took throughout our day.
|He has an eye for detail. He obsessed over that |
worn out sticker for most of the trip to the library
|Reading up on his dinosaurs for our trip to the natural history museum this weekend.|
|Finger licking good dinner!|